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| Modest Expressions on Instagram |
2020 has been a wild roller coaster for everyone and I find it particularly inspiring to speak to people who handle adversity and in fact turn around and thrive in spite of it. Meet Kendra Montemayor. She's walking out of 2020 as an entrepreneur and added her names to the list of people who have made a public stand against discrimination this year.
I worked with Kendra professionally years ago and have always admired her positivity. If you live in the DFW area, you may have heard about an act of discrimination Kendra dealt with at the Haltom City Courthouse. I don't believe that we are defined by the events in our lives but how we handle them shows who we really are. The picture of strength that unveiled as Kendra dealt with this despicable situation is an accurate depiction of the woman I've come to know. I spoke to Kendra so I could share a snapshot of what's going on with her life as we approach 2021.
"Kendra, you are a college educated, accomplished woman with years of experience in the field of education, a basketball coach and role model for young girls. You have also recently started a couple of entrepreneurial endeavors. Please share a bit about those with us."
"In the name of Allah, the beneficent, the most merciful.
I graduated from the University of Texas at Arlington where I played collegiate basketball for 3 years from 2001-2004. I began coaching girls basketball in 2007; high school and AAU (amatuer athletic union) at the middle school level. It was basketball that first ignited the spark to work with kids. From there I continued to coach and also added teaching to my resume, grades pre-K through 10th. Working with kids has always brought me the most joy, and when I’m not working with kids, I’m thinking of how to incorporate them into my future endeavors.
For instance, I’ve recently begun an online consignment shop called Modest Expressions where I sell new and gently-used items as a way to bring in revenue; as well as try to preserve the earth by promoting upcycling. My vision for Modest Expressions is to have an affordable place for Muslim girls and women to shop for modest clothing that provides the coverage that has been prescribed for us by Allah (swt) while allowing that sense of style that stems from our natural femininity."
"Please describe briefly what happened at the courthouse in your own words."
Upon my arrival to the courthouse, while standing in line, I could see that the attending officer who was signing everyone in already had a chip on his shoulder. He was rude to the mother and daughter who were in line before me so I consciously made it a point to not rub him the wrong way. I had almost made it outside to wait to be called when the officer called out, “You can’t wear that hat in here.” I turned around to confirm he was speaking to me and replied, “sir this is a turban, not a hat.” He said, “you can’t wear that inside.” I said, “Sir, I am Muslim. I’m wearing this for my religion.” To which he replied, “well you still can’t wear that inside [the courtroom].” I said, “well if i take it down and re-wrap my scarf like Muslim women do [basically what you’re used to seeing], then can I come inside?”
To which he replied, “No. You can’t come inside.” I immediately ask him who I can speak to that’s above him. He pointed to the left and told me I could go down to the other end of the courthouse [paying fines area]. When I walked into the other building a clerk greeted me and I told her that the officer was not permitting me into the courthouse because of my turban and that I had already explained to him that it was for my religion because I am Muslim. The clerk replied, “that’s not his[officer] rule, that’s the judge’s rule.” I held up my summons that I had been holding and asked the clerk if someone could provide documentation to me stating that they did not serve Muslims at this courthouse and that I came and tried to do my due diligence but that I was rejected [I didn't want a warrant out for my arrest].
The clerks behind the plexi-glass just looked at each other like they didn’t know what to do. I called my husband on the phone so I could inform him of what was taking place but then the clerk pointed at a sign on the window to let me know there were no phones allowed inside, so I stepped outside to finish my call. While I was outside, the clerks inside went and got the judge.
An officer came outside and asked me to come back in to speak with the judge. I went back inside and the judge proceeded to tell me that the reason she was not allowing me into her courtroom was because, “guys come up there all the time wearing hats and saying it’s for their religion.” I could no longer hold back my tears and began to cry. I could not believe that this was happening to me in 2020! The judge then said she could give me two options but she wouldn’t help me until I stopped crying. I said, “So you won’t help me now because I have tears coming down my face, because I'm emotional. So now you want to control my tears too!”
She relied with, “I’m just trying to help you. I can give you two options but I can’t tell them to you if you’re crying.” She then tells me she can give me two options, either go get back in line behind about 15 people and she could help me in the courtroom [why now?] or, she could help me at the clerk window because she was already there. I began to cry harder but I chose the latter. While “helping” me, she begins to antagonize me. She tells me that she’s just trying to help but it sure didn’t feel that way. She said something in a licentious and disrespectful manner and I raised my voice. She says, “Oh you’re raising your voice!” I IMMEDIATELY lowered my voice and quietly said, “ma’am, I’m choosing for you to help me, please help me so I can leave.”
She asked me if I wanted to pay my fine or defer it. In my haste to leave I asked for it to be deferred. Mind you, NO ONE has gone over how much my ticket was at this point. The judge personally completes a form and signs it, then she says to her bailiff “come on (his name), let’s go!” And then she walked away. I grabbed my paperwork off the counter and began to leave but the clerk said she needed my signature. I signed my paper. Walked out the courtroom. Walked across the street to cool off a bit, then I went live on Facebook. The experience was disheartening. All the people who witnessed it just watched it happen. They didn’t speak up. They watched an injustice play out and said nothing. May Allah swt help us to forbid the evil and enjoin in good."
"I'm just shaking my head hearing the details. It is truly sad that people have to constantly fight for respect. What do you think was the purpose of this judge implementing a rule such as this. Do you think it was targeted at Muslims?"
"I honestly don’t know why they had this policy in place. As a former teacher of United States History I know that my 8th grade students have to pass a standardized test every year over a curriculum that is mandated by the state. They have to know the Bill of Rights. They have to know freedom of religion is a part of their first amendment right. And as someone who has an Associates Degree in Criminal Justice, I also know that I had to to have an understanding of the American Judicial System in order to earn my degree. So when you ask do I think the judge was targeting Muslims with this policy, I’m not sure… but I know I was discriminated against in a major way and it didn’t help that I am African American."
"Do you think there is a difference between sexism towards white women vs sexism toward women of color? I ask because it seems to me that white women deal with sexism but not sexism and racism. This puts white women above all minority women in the world. It's not all the time, because I've worked but unfortunately, I've experienced situations where instead of white women as a whole embracing other women and working together against sexism, they use their position given to them by white men and exert that power over minority women."
"Unfortunately, I do agree that there is a difference between sexism towards white women vs sexism toward women of color. As an African American woman, who is also a Muslim, it feels like I begin my day with 3 strikes against me from jump. The moment I wake up, I am those three things: Black, Muslim, & Woman. I believe that white women are fully aware of this as well and act out subconsciously to these three categories that society has deemed lower in status.
White women treat black women like white men treat black men. I’m not saying that all white men and women do this, most of my white friends are conscious enough to be aware that this happens, but for those still living in a bubble in 2020, yes they view black women as less than. And unfortunately, black men and women have become the main perpetrators of forming negative perceptions about African American women as a whole."
"People have no idea how hard it is to just walk out in the world everyday for others. Thank you for sharing that. What message do you want to say to the woman judge who discriminated against you as well as all white women in places of power."
"My message to the judge and other women of power, not just white ones, is just do better. If you hold a position of power then you also hold a position of responsibility, and you can make changes for the better. If you’re not using your power for good, then what are you doing? Get out of those fields if you cannot do them justly. Be self-aware and reflect on your actions daily because the decisions you are making leave a lasting effect on people long after they leave your courtrooms and your business establishments. Being unjust poisons the hearts of a society. This is oppression. This is what oppression looks like."
"By standing up the way you did, I feel that message came through. What advice do you have for women when they face this type of situation?"
"My advice to those women who also experience this type of discrimination is that they should speak out about it. How can there be change if people don’t know change is needed and necessary? These acts will continue to be perpetrated and those that come after us will continue to endure the pain that we’ve allowed. Nip it in the bud! If you see something, say something. If it feels wrong, it probably is. Trust your gut, your women’s intuition. You were given it for a reason. Do not fear man, fear Allah alone and He will sustain your affairs."
"Those are powerful and true words, Kendra. We have to talk about your head-covering. Had you not worn a head covering, this ugly rule wouldn’t have been uncovered by you in the first place. Please tell me why you choose to cover your hair and speak to how your choice affects your daily life. As a black woman, do you feel you face more, less or the same when covering your hair."
"Alhamdulillah, I’ve been wearing my head-covering since 2012. First and foremost, the hijab or veil was prescribed by Allah swt in His book the Holy Qur’an as protection for me. Hijab is not just for women but for men as well. In the Qur’an 24:31 men are obliged to observe modesty as well by restraining their eyes and guarding their private parts. Modesty is my protection. I remember when I first started to wear the hijab; it seemed like every door was instantly opened for me, literally.
I made the men around me up their level of respect for me. Things were now hidden from them and they were more intrigued by me versus lusting over me. That was huge for me. Growing up as a non-Muslim I didn’t know what modesty was. I had barely heard the word. And I didn’t understand why modesty was so important or how it protected me. Islam taught me to value myself, like a hidden jewel in a treasure chest; and only those made permissible by Allah could now enjoy my adornments.
The hijab changed my mindset and allowed me to grow intellectually and spiritually. As a black woman who covers I feel way more respected by most people. Of course there are those outliers, but for the most part, the hijab makes my everyday life more enjoyable. I tend to have more in-depth conversations with people. Most people are just curious and want an understanding about what the hijab is and means. For me, I am not whole without my hijab. It is now a part of me. And I pray Allah keeps it as such."
"Do you feel you were represented fairly by the media?"
"Honestly, no. I don’t feel that I was represented fairly by the media. It seems as though editing is King when it comes to the media. Most of what I said in my interview with NBC wasn’t used. I felt that the reporter just needed a story so that he could have something other than Covd-19 to talk about but he didn’t really didn’t understand the severity of the issue. The way he piecemealed my words left me feeling like my story hadn’t been fully covered. The next day I did a press conference to ensure that people could hear more of what actually happened that day. Of all the media outlets I have spoken to, not one of them made me feel like they were truly after a resolution. It was more so a matter of getting a new story to fill their quotas."
"I'm really sorry to hear that and this is why we have to promote our own stories. How do you feel about how CAIR represented you and would you refer others to use them?"
"I’ve been quite indifferent about this question to be honest with you. I am grateful for what CAIR has done for me thus far, but I feel like I’ve been left to fend for myself mostly. I’m kind of at a loss for words. My advice would be to seek out your own representation in addition to CAIR for help with the things they do not provide."
"That is really helpful and insightful advice that no one would know otherwise. Is the situation totally resolved with the courthouse or is it ongoing?"
"This situation is still ongoing. I am currently waiting to hear back from the lawyer who is working pro-bono to see if we can get documentation proving that the Haltom City Municipal Court has indeed changed their policy, officially."
"Thank you Kendra, please do update me on the progress of your case. Do you happen to know if any other courthouses or public places in the USA have rulings like this?"
"I was told by CAIR representatives that what I experienced happens all the time. And prior to me, a judge in Denton told a woman who was already sitting in her courtroom to “take that thing of her head or get out of her courtroom.” So to answer your question, yes, I am positive that other courtrooms have policies in place like this that need to be changed."
"That is honestly horrific to hear and all the more reason to share this story. When these things happen, we have to stand up against it so it is not repeated. Is this possibly the beginning of activism for you?"
We’ll see where this goes. I’ve never thought of myself as an activist, but I’ve never been one to take injustice lying down either. I’m a fighter. If I see something, I say something.
"I think the majority of discriminations go unchecked. I hope others reading this see themselves in you and stand up when it is time. Whether or not you continue activism in any form, what will you take away from this experience."
"This experience has shown me that we as MUSLIMS have become very docile. We have allowed injustices for far too long and the manifestation of it is leading to the Muslims becoming weak in the land. This is the religion of Allah and His messenger the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and if we believe in Allah and the last day, then now is the time to WAKE UP and SPEAK UP. I don’t want my daughter growing up in a world where we “turn the other cheek” at injustice and filth. When I see something, I will say something, inshaAllah. And I pray that more Muslims, people period, will stand up and fight for their rights. When you stand for nothing, you fall for everything."
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