Realistic, Islamic Tips to Travel From Anxiety to Sakinah

Realistic, Islamic Tips to Travel From Anxiety to Sakinah 

As Muslims, we focus a great deal on Spiritual Health but not enough on mental/emotional health. In many cases, I think these issues are not handled properly, causing more issues for the one suffering and alienating Muslims who are suffering. I'm going to give a general idea of how to and not to help someone suffering from anxiety, how you can help yourself if you suffer from anxiety and lastly, get some tips from a young Muslima who is managing her own anxiety.  

If you see someone drowning, do you blame them or lend them a hand? If you're the one drowning, do you start blaming yourself or do you try to swim? The intensity an anxiety attack comes with can feel a lot like drowning. People have intense physical reactions including labored breathing, a tightness in the throat which feels like choking and an elevated heart-rate. 
If someone was drowning, would you tell them they just need to practice swimming more? Or would you lend them a hand: 

Please Don't: 

Tell them they need to toughen up
Tell them they need to be more grateful
Tell them they just need to read more Quran and pray more
Tell them their imaan (faith) is weak

How You Can Help: 

Empathize with them
Validate their feelings
Hold their hand, listen to them
Ask them if you can read Quran over them
Read Quran over water and give it to them to drink 
Make dua for them/ with them
Take them out for a walk
Invite them out for tea or some type of calming activity
Find ways to support them or be there for them

If someone is in the middle of an panic/anxiety attack, bring them some water, read Quran over them and try to calm down their breathing by modeling slow breaths. Panic/Anxiety attacks can be very scary to the person experiencing it, even if they've experienced it before because the feeling of choking and loss of control of the breath is frightening no matter how many times you experience it. 

If You're Suffering From Anxiety

First of all, you're not weak person and this doesn't mean you have weak faith in Allah. When a body builder grimaces and groans under the heavy weight he is lifting, he isn't weak. He's responding to the weight. Similarly, dealing with anxiety can feel that way...grimacing under the weight of life's pressures. Just like with lifting a heavy weight, if we lose focus, lose track of our breath and balance, the weight can suddenly feel dangerously heavy and out of our control. Think about it like that. Life does throw curve balls at us and we aren't always ready for them. Accept it. It is okay that things are not just right in balance right now. It happens to the best of us. Take a breath and know that you can get things back into balance. It may mean rearranging things in your life. It may mean that in this stage of your life, you're life might look different than it did before. You might need to try new things because what you were doing in your 20s isn't working for your 30s and so on. You might have more pressures in your life or maybe just being older has naturally made it harder to deal with the same pressures of life. 

Before you set out to do anything in life, start with seeking Allah's help

No matter what the issue is you're dealing with, my first advice is to seek Allah's help in tahajud prayer. It can really be as simple as getting up 10 minutes before Fajr to pray 2 rakat of tahajud. This simple act will help in many ways. For one thing, you will feel a sense of relief and peace from praying at that special time because you know it is full of blessings. No matter what happens in your day, you can feel sure that it is better than it would have been because you started it with tahajud prayer. Please try it for yourself and see. Allah tells us to seek help with patience and prayer. Let me tell you, pray even just 2 rakat at tahajud consistently like you would a prescribed dose of medication. Ask for the patience and help at that time consistently and see what happens. Test it out and skip a day of praying tahajud and see if your day felt different.  For an excellent source of information on the blessings of tahajud, see this video. 



For some people, anxiety can be a passing issue that comes once in their life and never returns. Others may deal with it from time to time. While some may deal with it daily. If you are dealing with it often, try these tips.

When Does Your Anxiety Peak?

Take time out to notice what is going on with yourself. Push pause. Notice how you feel when you get up in the morning before work or the night before work. When do you feel more anxious? Take note of that and start implementing things that feel good at those times to manage your anxiety before it starts. 

Become Proactive In Managing Your Anxiety

I know you are already feeling overwhelmed, but the reality is you can not go on with life this way. This may sound like another job/task to do. But it isn't. I promise, it will actually feel good and satisfying. You will have to stop and address the issue and realize no one can solve it for you. A pill won't solve it, instead pills will just cause more issues. My dear sisters and brothers, you will have to become proactive in managing your anxiety. You can take charge of this. It is really freeing to realize that you hold the reigns over those wild horses. We aren't going to blame our job, family or other stressors. In fact, we aren't blaming anyone or anything. We accept that this is just part of life and we can handle it because Allah swt doesn't give anyone anymore to deal with than they can handle. You just have to readjust the reigns. Once you realize that you really have the ability to control this on your own, you can start exploring a world of tools manage your anxiety.

Amazing Baths

If you notice your anxiety peaks before work, try make a little extra time to take an amazing bath before you go to work. Getting up a little earlier may seem like a chore but it will be totally worth it. Buy some bath salts and good smelling bubbles. Light a candle, burn some bokhoor or put an oil dispenser in your bathroom with a soft light setting. This may feel so good that you even feel guilty for indulging this way. Take this time for yourself to feel good. 

Try Hijama (Cupping)

Feel good knowing that you are following a Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad saws. Search for a local person who does Hijama. Ask your masjid if they know anyone reputable. I've had hijama done 3 times now and I schedule myself to have it done once a month on the sunnah days of the month. Since I've started, I've noticed that each month, I'm feeling better than the month before. 

The benefits are on multiple levels. It is a calming experience so it immediately affects your stress/ anxiety level. It is physically healthy which affects our emotional/mental health because once system supports the other. It is healthy for our soul because it is following the sunnah of the Muhammad saws who recommended we do hijamah. 

Abu Hurairah (r.a.) reported that the Messenger (pbuh) said, "Whoever performs cupping/hijama on the 17th, 19th or 21st day (of the Islamic Lunar Month) then it is a cure for every disease." (Sunan Abu Dawud Hadith No: 3861)

If you live in the Dallas, Texas area, there are a few places you can go. I've been to Hijama USA  and Sister Ghaniye. Both are amazing and I would just say go to the one closest to your home. 

For Sisters: Ghaniye in Valley Ranch (Irving, Texas) 972-900-0893

For Sisters & Brothers:  Hijama USA in Frisco, Texas

Shifaa Care LLC 316-259-8540

Alhamdullilah, I've noticed that more people are learning how to do this sunnah and courses are available to get certified in practicing hijama such as these: 

Hijama Nation
Simply Hijama 
Hijama Clinic
Cura Co

Explore Professional Islamic Help (No Pills)

A great source is one of Dr. Marwa Assar's online courses on her H.O.M.E. Institute. H.O.M.E. stands for Heart Over Mind and Ego. She has her PhD and is a working professional helping tackle emotional/psychological issues from an Islamic perspective. I was blessed to spend a month with her in Istanbul so I can tell you first hand, she is genuine and a solid source for help. Add to that, her courses will not cost what visiting a traditional secular psychiatrist will and there are no pills to take. She walks you through doing the psycho-spiritual work that needs to be done to uncover what is hurting and heal naturally so you can move on. Here is a link to her site. The H.O.M.E. Institute

Try A New Hobby

Have you ever tried Islamic Calligraphy? The greatest living legend in this field today, Sheikh Hasan Celebi said about Islamic Calligraphy that "...it heals the souls of people." He also says that practicing calligraphy is a way of being, "...in service to the Quran." I strongly encourage it if you are artistically or mathematically/geometrically inclined. The art is highly disciplined and has a very calming affect on the person practicing it. Working with the materials, a real qalam (pen) made from a river reed or bamboo, real ink and so on is an experience it itself. Seeing yourself progress each time you pick up the qalam is also gratifying. Once you start practicing, you will see it opens up a whole new world for you. Even watching videos of people doing their calligraphy is relaxing, imagine doing it yourself. 

Revisit Old Hobbies

Think back to the things you used to love to do when you were younger. Maybe you've dropped alot of that. Try picking it back up. Say you loved swimming or soccer. Try that again and plan to do those things you love at the times or right before your peak anxiety times. If Sunday night is stressful for you because you start thinking of all the things you have to do at work, go to the park and play soccer for an hour. Maybe you loved to read novels. Try picking up a book or trying out an audio book. 

Bring Nature Into Your Home or Office

Try buying small indoor plants that don't require a lot of care and placing them in places you can see them. The natural world has a calming affect. Every little bit helps. 

De-clutter/ Organize

You know how a hotel room is so relaxing even though you don't have all the things you are used to having at home? It is partly because there isn't much distractions there. How about the masjid? It is free of distractions and focused on ibadah. With that in mind, work, at a pace that is comfortable for you, to get every room focused.  Hack away at what isn't needed. 

Try one drawer at a time or one room a month. Go at a pace that feels comfortable for you. But have in mind that minimizing the material things in your living/ work space is a new way of being. So instead of always accumulating, get into the mindset of always giving away or trashing things. For some reason, we are tricked into thinking the more we have of this world, the happier we are. But if you think about it, the opposite seems to be true. Don't expect to become a minimalist over night, but take small steps in that direction as needed. 

Learn to Say No / Take a Day Off When You Need It

Some of us might need help saying no. If you aren't well, you aren't much good for anyone. So it isn't selfish to take care of yourself. In fact it is necessary in order to be the best Muslim/Muslima  you can be. If you need to take a day off from work just to do self-care, then do it and take your self-care seriously. Cherish every minute you have to relax. 

Read Positive Things

You can look on Pintrest to find positive quotes. You can make a Pintrest Board and save your favorite positive quotes to it. I personally find Bruce Lee's quotes so inspiring. In surah Baqarah, there are so many ayat that give hope to a believer. SubhanAllah, our Creator knows better than anyone how we struggle and put the exact words we need to hear in Baqarah. I won't put the ayat that give me hope here because I really think it is a beautiful experience to find the words of Allah swt that uplift you on your own journey toward peace. 

Write Positive Reminders to Yourself

Write yourself a positive note and stick it on your bathroom mirror or on your wall. You can start a journal where you write positive notes to yourself or draw beautiful pictures. 

Make a Collage/ Vision Board 

This something that can remain a "work in progress" for as long as needed. You can clip or print pictures/ quotes about anything that brings a smile to your heart and arrange it however you like. In my 30s, I noticed an artistic piece in my father's house. I was surprised when he told me he made it himself. He clipped pieces of a newspaper and magazines an glued them to a vase shaped bottle. It was beautiful but I had no idea that was something he liked to do. It is so beneficial for our emotional/mental health to have some way of expressing ourselves whether it is martial arts, culinary arts or painting. 

Identify & Avoid Negative/Toxic People and Situations

Start observing how people you interact with make you feel. Sometimes we don't realize there is a person we are interacting with in our lives that is feeding negativity to us. It could be a coworker or friend. You may not be able to cut them out of your life but you can cut the interactions shorter and shorter. It isn't always easy to do but you can do anything a little bit at a time. 

Work On Your Physical Health

Start taking pro-biotics everyday to support your gut health. Our gut is an intricate and interesting system that actually affects our emotional and mental health. So a healthy gut supports a less anxious, less stressed mind and heart. Take natural herbs but avoid chemical drugs from a psychiatrist at all costs.

L-Thianine: this is an amino acid found in green tea. It helps manage anxiety naturally and doesn’t cause drowsiness.

St. John’s Wart: a flowering plant that has been shown to be as effective as prescription antidepressants. It helps people stave off anxiety naturally

Valerian Root: a plant that has mild sedative qualities

Nutmeg: I warm up some coconut or almond milk with a nutmeg seed in it. I love how it calms me down

Chamomile Tea: Soothing and relaxing. The warmth of the tea, the aroma and the herb all helps.

Essential oils body rub: I put lavender in a mixture of coconut oil and shea butter. I rub that all over after a warm bath.

Talk to a Friend... About Anything

Sometimes talking about what is causing your anxiety makes it worse. Try listening to your friend about their issues. Or just chat about anything. 

Deep Breathing Daily

Stop for a few minutes a day, at any time of the day that feels good for you. Just stop and focus on some slow, relaxed breathing and think of a beautiful, serene place or anything that makes you happy. You’ll be surprised how much good just a minute or two of that can do for you. If you have an Apple Watch, you may have the app on there that reminds you to stop and take some deep breaths. Try to get an app on your phone for deep breaths. 

Yoga

Start a yoga practice. You can find yoga videos on Youtube. You'd be surprised how much good just 10 to 15 minutes a day does. It is said that is retrains your mind and body in wondrous, healthy ways. I use Yoga with Adrienne on Youtube. 

Anxiety affects people from every age group, for different reasons

To get a younger person's perspective on dealing with anxiety, I spoke to Aminah Ssali of Arlington, Texas, who holds a Bachelors of Social Work. She shared a few insights on her personal battle with anxiety.

 

"When it comes to anxiety, it's something I have had involved in my life since I can remember. As a child- I thought it was all in my mind. As an adolescent- I thought it was just a phase. Once I reached adulthood- I realized I needed to address this constant feeling of untraceable panic. I remember the hardest and most important task for me was to understand WHERE this cycle of panic came from to try to understand when was my first moment of panic and what caused it to become a constant feeling in my daily life. Although I was able to learn what established my daily feeling of panic since childhood, I have also come to the conclusion that some people are simply more susceptible to panic and anxious tendencies than others. This does NOT mean that we are to crumble beneath it but rather that we must be more loving to ourselves because of it. Another task which I had to incorporate into my daily life to minimize the anxious feelings was to detach ownership to the anxiety. When anxious I am constantly reminding myself that it is only a feeling and not a definition of self. An example is I awake in the morning and BAM! There is the feeling of panic: in this moment, I do not say I AM anxious, but instead, I say I am FEELING anxious. Feelings are temporary so it gives the anxiety less definition and power over my day." -Aminah Ssali

Don’t Lose Hope

"Certainly no one despairs of the relief from Allah except those who disbelieve." Quran Chapter 12:87 

This ayah from the Quran gives me hope for two reasons. 

1. Even the great prophet Yaqub (Jacob) peace be on him experienced deep emotions of anxiety and sadness. This is a man of God who received revelations from Allah. But he was deeply sad at losing Yousef (Joseph) to the point he lost his sight.

2. He said, only a kafir (disbeliever) loses hope in Allah. Allah is letting us know that he wants us to remain hopeful, even in the saddest and hardest times, because losing hope in Him bring us a time of ease after our hardship is tantamount to losing faith in Him. The One in control of my situation and life, is telling me not to lose hope. Well, wow, that uplifts me just thinking about it and I hope it helps you as well.

Allah also says in the Quran, "After hardship comes ease. Surely after hardship comes ease." Chapter 94:5-6 Allah, the creator of the universe promised us that after hardships comes ease, and He never breaks His promise. 

The problem is, we forget all these great reminders, especially when the stressful times are swallowing us up. So my last tip is to keep positive people around you. Keep people around who will uplift you and remind you of Allah’s promise to us all. I pray this was helpful to someone suffering. I know how scary and hopeless it can feel and I know how far you can come away from it. You can do it with the help of Allah swt. Truly depend on Him to help and guide you on your path to Sakinah and I know you will find your way.  

If any of these tips have worked for you or you have other tips to share, please do so others may benefit inshAllah. 

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